The Gift of Mothering

hey diddle diddle…

Sunday was Mother’s Day and…I did a lot of mothering. It just turned out that way. Some things went down (no trouble, just life) and presence is what was required. ⁣

⁣A lot of what I do as a mother is that I am present. I am available. I listen…as best I can. Turns out I’m so easily distractible! I use the other’s face and sound of voice as dristi/focus points and keep coming back. Compassion is a helpful motivator. ⁣

When I have thoughts or perspective I try to offer them in a respectful way that is translatable. At the right time. To help navigate. Sometimes I do this better than others. Yet more than anything I am just here. ⁣

Parenting in a pandemic is hard. There is a lot to face and continuous hard choices to make. Kids and young adults want to be with their friends and from what we have been told so far they are likely not at high risk. ⁣

Yet their lives that are just beginning are being seemingly derailed to keep safe the elders, many of whom have already lived long lives, and the immune compromised…like myself.

There are conflicting motivations for sure, and most of what we are going on is speculation at this point. It’s hard to make choices in this climate and then have to live with whatever that brings. Once again, always true. Yet accentuated. ⁣

Late high school and college age kids are deciding if they want to sign up for major debt while trying to plan their future when nothing seems clear. We just paid for likely the highest priced online schooling so far in history while having the highly anticipated freshman year experience cut off with no warning after moving cross country together to make it happen! Each of us has our own unique story…⁣

These kids have worked so hard doing what they have been told they have to do only to have the rules change at the last moment. I suppose we are all experiencing this but it is really accentuated for the upcoming generations about to step into the world as adults on their own. ⁣

Although there is this…they have experienced the old way and yet are not already as ingrained in their life path. Perhaps they can more easily adapt to life as it presents going forward. Without the same preconceptions of how things are supposed to or have to be. They can help evolve the old to meet the new. ⁣

This is what I will encourage. ⁣

In myself, my child and whoever else I encounter. Whether the new way is full of roadblocks, newfound possibilities, or both. We may not be able to recreate the future in the image of the past, we will have to adapt. Yet the more seamlessly we can do this with fresh, open eyes the more likely we are to succeed in the new environment. ⁣

Perhaps this is post covid parenting. Expectation, entitlement and arrogance will only get in the way. We have to keep adapting as quickly as the world around us. Once again, this is not new, but even more so. ⁣

It seems…people want accolades and congratulatory pampering about their parenting. It is helpful to support the caregivers, yet remember, mother’s day was at least in part developed as a consumer holiday with a political agenda. Every day can be appreciation day! Yet that’s not why I parent.⁣

While I sure could use a massage or a delicious meal I didn’t make myself sometimes, the real gift I receive is the parenting itself…learning how to adapt and meet my child and a situation right where they are. Not in the way I think I want things to be. As they are. And respond to that.

When I stop fighting or forcing I can better see what we have to work with. I see my child as a being with needs that are trying to express…and I can help or hinder that.⁣

For being a mother…is really about mothering. It is something you give. The potential-yet-not-guaranteed reward is the connection, and your child. You give without knowing what, if anything, you’re going to get. In my case, I have given a lot. And been given back so so very much. Not always what I thought or expected, and sometimes so far beyond what I could have imagined.

It’s not for everyone, parenting, and at times seems not for me! Yet once you’re in it there is no easy out. We adapt or we suffer. And we pass that on.

Once again, this is not new. But accentuated. ⁣

We are all presented with this opportunity right now – evolve together or get stuck trying to force things to be some preconceived way. In parenting and in this post covid world. Same thing, accentuated.⁣

I…am going to keep trying to meet things with fresh, open eyes, and continuously, consciously adapt to the situation as it presents itself. I don’t already know better, I am learning as I go.⁣

In life and parenting.⁣

This is my precious Mother’s Day gift.⁣

♥️

Quarantine Awakening

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There is something so electric about the sunrise. The way the light slowly increases to illuminate the landscape, revealing all that was shrouded in mystery. I feel more capable, wise, like I understand things a bit more clearly.

We made it through the night again to face another day. ⁣⁣
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I slept on the couch last night so I could awake with the sunrise on this snow capped hill across from my window. I feel like I’m finally waking up, I’ve been so tired for such a long time. ⁣⁣
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That’s what I’ve been doing during this time of isolation, I’ve been resting. At first I could hardly get off the couch. I figured I was stressed, depressed, overwhelmed, afraid and triggered from ptsd for a variety of reasons in this situation.

While all that was valid, I then recognized I was exhausted from the move and the last year of getting Philip settled into college, then before that from 20 years of parenting. Then I thought, wow, I’ve been running since I graduated high school! Then I realized I have been going since way before that. As long as I can remember I’ve been running. And I was starting to falter in it too. I really needed some rest. ⁣⁣
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So I have been. Resting. When else have I ever been given the time and space to finally, fully rest? In the beginning of this I spent time purposefully allowing myself to be as slow as I wanted. I am always being rushed in life; I could finally go at my own pace. Maybe nothing has ever felt this good.

I stayed in bed as long as I wanted. I took naps anywhere and anytime. I didn’t make myself leave the house if I didn’t want to. I let go of any pressure to get anything done. I let myself be. So much underlying static rose up and was processed or released, or both.⁣⁣
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I have been spending a lot of time in a liminal meditative space between wake and sleep where I allow a free flow of thought while retaining consciousness. My tolerance to retaining presence in any state is increasing and a sense of adaptability and underlying peace is stabilizing.

Much insight into things that have plagued me is arising while I am also coming to terms with what I can’t know and don’t have the power to fully control. In doing this I start to see what choices I do have and where I can have an affect.

I am not doing all this but just being and allowing it to rise and process.⁣

I’ve gone from perhaps the most afraid and triggered I’ve ever been (as it was the culmination of a lifetime) to feeling that the perspective of this lifetime is the most integrated it has ever been. Because I finally have the space to let myself be. ⁣

I know this isn’t everyone’s experience. Many are working harder than ever before, many are in unsafe conditions without enough resources. Many appear to be struggling with being alone and not being able to get out or be entertained while others are suffering from being with the people with whom they are isolating. Some have been terribly sick or losing loved ones. There are usually many sides to each experience.

I may have been sick too, maybe with a physical illness, certainly soul sick and exhausted from a lifetime of trying to keep up. All I know is the mist is clearing. We are all going through something right now. ⁣

We are all in this together, sure, but we are not all in the same situation. Each have our own life tragedies born from this and otherwise and each will learn what we learn. ⁣

I could tell you my tragedies but you already have your own. Instead today I chose to share some of the beauty that I am experiencing. ⁣

Waking up inside the parable of my life and learning to let myself be. Slow and steady like the sunrise, until suddenly, when everything is illuminated.⁣

No matter your story, perhaps you will experience some of this too.⁣

We made it through the night again to face another day.
♥️

Gayatri Mantra

Om Bhur Bhuvaḥ Swaḥ

Tat-savitur Vareñyaṃ

Bhargo Devasya Dhīmahi

Dhiyo Yo Nah Prachodayāt

ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः

तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं

भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि

धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्

Gratefully dilating open to allow the all pervasive radiant light beyond individual form to shine through.

Dissipating the veils, pixelating the solidity of the forms, clearing the lenses that block us from wisdom, from experiencing the continuum of the infinite.

(current transliteration and experience of the moment)

Framing

Thoughts upon awakening:

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I do not want to allow challenges from the past to negatively define how I envision my potential moving forward. I want to utilize the perspective and wisdom I learn through all my experiences to inspire me to be adaptive and resilient, to inform me of ways I can continue to grow with discernment, empathy and grace.

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How we perceive things is greatly dependent upon the frame we see it through.

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Every experience relevant, a springboard for the alchemy of transformation.

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Planting seeds, observing how they grow, refining as I go.

Snowshoe Yoga Walking Meditation 3/16/19

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Saturday, March 16 11am-3:30pm
at The Viaggio Spa and Wellness Center
in The Mountain Club on Loon
on Loon Mountain Resort

$60 for Drop-In (bring your own snowshoes)
$75 for Drop-In (with snowshoe rental)
$50 for Members (bring your own snowshoes)
$65 for Members (with snowshoe rental)

Welcome the spring with a snowshoe yoga practice and walking meditation through the forests along the Pemigewasset River surrounding Loon Mountain Resort in Lincoln, New Hampshire!

We will conclude with a cool down practice in the elegant yoga sanctuary at Viaggio Spa and Wellness Center in The Mountain Club on Loon on Loon Mountain Resort, unless we decide we prefer to stay outside for the duration of the workshop.

Bring your own snowshoes and poles or rent them from us for $15/set. Weather permitting we will experiment with special grabs and positions unique to yoga on snowshoes. If the trail is very icy we will adapt with micro-spikes, which we also have for rent for $10. If there is not enough snow cover we will hike in boots and if the weather is rainy we can increase our practice time inside. We will utilize poles for some postures so bring a pair or we have some you can borrow.

Bring water for yourself, a snack or light lunch and layers appropriate for the weather that day. Wear waterproof or resistant pants or bring a garbage bag or something waterproof to sit on for stillness meditation and potentially to have a snack, weather and interest permitting.

Included in the price of the workshop is a day pass to utilize the amenities at the Viaggio including indoor and outdoor hot tubs, an indoor pool, steam room, weight room and exercise machines. Contact the spa if you would like to add spa services to your stay.

If you have any questions make a post, leave a comment or send me a message, to register contact Viaggio Spa and Wellness Center by message, by phone at 800-229-7829 ext. 3 or through email at spa@mtnclub.com.

We are working on online registration but are not quite there yet!

Guided Meditation – Processing Experience and Sensation like Water

I thought I would share this as maybe it will help you clear your mind and body before you sleep. It is not really a video but a guided meditation, but so far with what I know a video is easier to share than audio. It is raw, not perfected or polished. I blow my nose, I have a cold, I sit up in a wonky way. It is taken from the end of a online Zoom yoga session with a private client. I have been wanting to share some guided meditations, when I teach it is pretty much all guided movement and stillness meditation. I don’t have a plan or use a script. I tried recording some with a script I wrote, and while I like what I said, it sounded like I was reading from a script. In this what I say is not exactly right, yet it sounds, at least to me, more authentic, albeit a little slow and with a stuffy nosed voice. I like it better than the script though. In 14 years of teaching it is the first time I have recorded myself and listened to the recording as a meditation for myself…I tend to be more ephemeral than documenting. I think it will help me get better at this to do this, record myself in real time rather than scripted and then experience myself as a student. It is fascinating. I am different on the outside than I am inside of me, it seems so far, and as I watch myself I have extreme compassion for this little woman that I am, in the same way I have compassion for you when I see you in real life. I will likely record a similar guided meditation and at that point perhaps delete this. Yet in the interim I am sharing what I have available and maybe it will be of interest to you.

Beyond Repetition

When I am feeling stuck in my mind and in the physical world I find it helpful to offer myself a pattern interruption by practicing doing things with my non-dominant side. Movement meditations like postural yoga and snowboarding are great for this.

With yoga, postures are typically practiced back and forth, stimulating and developing agility on both sides of the body, balancing out the dominance of either side. This can increase and reorganize the potential ways we habitually act and respond to circumstance. Instead of always repeating the pattern in one direction, we can move through it in the other direction too, adapting our prior experience to fit the specifics of the new situation.

It is beyond just being the opposite, as we are not fully symmetrical. In many ways the second side is like learning a separate yet related thing.

While snowboarding tends to be a one-sided activity, we can bring in this balancing, like a yoga practice, by switching back and forth which foot we have forward. At first the non-dominant side feels awkward, as we’’re doing something familiar but in a different way. Which potentially makes it feel even harder at moments then if we didn’t already know how to do it before, because we are expecting it to be the same.

It can take a bit of unhooking ourselves from trying to recreate the same experience on the second side, for although we already know how to do it on the dominant side, the second side has its own variables. When I let go of trying to make it the same, I can learn about what it actually is, and respond to that.

This can be practiced with any typically one sided activity, or any activity at all.

As we break our attachments to the familiar, creating a pattern interruption in the momentum of habitual repetition, we can learn to sense the nuances of each situation we encounter. Each moment informed yet not defined by our experiences of the past.

Online Interactive Group Yoga Classes 1/29-31

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~ in the comfort of your own home ~

Week of January 27

Tuesday, January 29
10:30am, 7pm, 9pm
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Wednesday, January 30
6:30pm, 8pm
~
Thursday, January 31
10:30am, 2pm

Register here and send a donation at the introductory rate of $5 or more to PayPal.me/deniseporterkemp. Be sure to comment which class you are interested in attending.

 

If there is not a sign-up form above this paragraph (it seems to be missing if you have the WordPress app on your phone), or if you just prefer, send me an email message to let me know you would like to join.

To prepare:
Download the free Zoom Meetings app onto your phone, tablet or computer and set yourself up so you can see the device and I can see you.

Some things I am learning with practice:
A laptop tends to be easiest, as you can move it around, it is stable and the screen tilts easily. Yet if you are working with a tablet or a phone, the photo below may help you find a good angle. The phone is elevated and leaning on something to stay upright and the tablet is leaning on the stool with something in front of the left corner to keep it from falling over. And yes, there is a little dog on the screen!

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Internet seems to work better if the device is well charged. If the connection is lagging, hardwiring a computer to an ethernet cord gives the best connection, although most likely is not necessary.

If there are other times that would work for you or specific themes or orientations you may be interested in let me know, I am experimenting to find what works best. I am also available for private individual and group sessions on request.

My intention is to move to one to two month sessions and longer form workshops, sign up for my mailing list here and/or follow this website for the most up to date information.

Thank you for your interest, I hope to see you in person or online sometime soon.

 

Online Interactive Yoga Classes 1/22/19 & 1/24/19

Online Interactive Yoga Classes
~ in the comfort of your own home ~

Tuesday, January 22
•2pm
•7pm
•9pm

Thursday, January 24
•10am
•2pm
If you have other suggestions for times let me know! I’m just experimenting to see what works.

Download the Zoom app onto your phone, tablet or computer and set yourself up so you can see the device and I can see you. There is a little bit of a learning curve with this platform yet it allows us to practice together anywhere we are.

Leave a comment or send me a message for more information. To register send me a message and a donation at the introductory rate of $5 or more to paypal.me/deniseporterkemp in the comments, or contact me for other arrangements.

February Workshops at The Mountain Club on Loon Mountain Resort

February Workshops
at The Viaggio Spa and Wellness Center
in The Mountain Club on Loon
on Loon Mountain Resort
with Denise Porter Kemp
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Yoga Playshops for Kids
Sunday, February 17
•9:30am – 10:00am 7-11 years $10
•10:30am – 11:00am – 3-6 years, Mommy or Daddy & Me $10
•3:30pm – 4:15pm – 11-15 years $15

We will utilize yoga postures, movement, dance and storytelling to engage our minds and bodies through the art of conscious play. These age groups are guidelines not boundaries, inquire if you have questions. In all cases we will explore yoga teachings through postures and movement translated to the maturity level of the group.
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Yoga Refresh Mini-Retreat
Wednesday, February 20
9:30am-12:30pm
$45, member price $35

A half day of retreat of flowing postural yoga, breathwork practices to relax and energize, seated meditation techniques and guided yoga nidra/conscious-rest meditation catered to the specifics of the group. Combine with a half day on the mountain, exploring the forests surrounding the resort or pampering yourself with the many amenities and services available at the Viaggio Spa for a full day retreat experience, just the way you like it.
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Yoga and Snowshoe Meditation Hike
Saturday, February 23
9:30am-1:30pm
$60 bring your own snowshoes, $75 with snowshoe rental, member price $50 or $65 with snowshoes

Yoga inside the warm sanctuary of The Mountain Club before and after as well as outside during a snowshoe meditation hike in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.
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Ongoing:
•Mondays 5:30-7:00 Meditative Flow yoga class
•Private individual and group yoga and Thai yoga sessions available by request

For more information visit the event pages or message me. To register contact The Viaggio Spa at spa@mtnclub.com or 800-229-7829.

mural and photo credit ~ Christopher Oktavec of Okto Ink
with editing and support by Taniya Toomey